Saturday, September 4, 2010

The Top 10 Ways to Annoy a Pagan

So I was cleaning out a e-mail account I no longer use when I came across this in an old e-mail. It gave me quite a little chuckle so I thought I would share it with you all. Feel free to add to the list in the comments maybe we can come up with a few more.

The Top 10 Ways To Annoy A Pagan

10. Sayyyyyyy, is that a Jewish star?

9. No, then you must listen to Motley Crue, right? Not that, either? I know, it's a ... a ... Pentacost, right?

8. You guys really worship the devil, huh? Cool, I, like, listen to Black Sabbath, like, all the time, dude.

7. Oh, you're a Witch! I'm like, totally into, like, Goddess Consciousness. I sleep with a crystal every night, and have an Atlantean spirit guide. Will you teach me all the secrets of your religion?

6. I hear you Pagans do all your stuff in the nude. Wanna show me?

5. You will all burn in Hell. The Goddess is really Satan in drag. You don't believe in Satan? Boy, does he have you fooled!

4. Fascinating.
I'm a sociologist; may I study you as a phenomena?

3. Do you really believe in all that nonsense?

2. You worship the Goddess? Poor thing; you obviously haven't heard about Jesus. Here, let me tell you...

And (drum roll, please):

1. You're a witch, huh? Well, I'm initated at a higher level than you. I was initated at the age of seven by my grandmother, who was the last of the Atlantean Trad Elvish Ninja Masters. I don't suppose YOU have any lineage.


  1. LOL yes! There are *so* many crazy things that people come up with. That #1 you have listed is the one that pushes my "piss-me-off" button. It's all in the personal power of the witch himself or herself - not - in how long you've practiced, or how your related 10 ancestors back, or a ancestor in the Witch Trials, etc.
    Just like doing a spell or two after a few drinks with friends - doesn't make you a witch or pagan. Its a way of life, not an occasional fling. ;)

    Here's a few I've experienced:

    1. "Oh, so you can .. like .. move objects with your mind or your hand or somethin'?"

    2. "Oh please don't curse me!"

    3. "so you like have orgies each full moon?"

    4. "Remind me not to piss you off, cause you'll hex me!"

  2. @Blue Faerie Awesome I think I am at 5 out of 10
    @Rhonda I think I have herd every one of those too lol